************ Back at the Pick N' Save in the Meat & Dairy Department*************************

Thanks to a carton of eggs, two unhappy lobsters, a crate of jumbo yellow onions, and Jack Daniels, Lucas was in the best and unlikeliest of all positions.

His first step to paradise, the eggs, did a masterful job of pissing off his enemy-always a good thing-as he flung the fragile shells behind him at his fast approaching foes, hitting each and every target several times causing the yellow goo to burst forth and stick and smear along foreheads and tinge shirts and pants most unattractively.

Knife was especially agitated having gotten an egg right in the family jewels-again not hurting him, but causing an embarrassing stain in a rather tiny area. His face twisted and contorted in flaming rage, the hired man made a grab for the first thing he could toss in reciprocation.

The two lobsters torn from their watery tank were not pleased.

For his audacity, the little red fellows did their best to snap Knife's fingers off, but sadly their claws were bound in plastic bands. This too disgruntled them most profoundly as they flew through the air at Lucas who added insult to injury by catching them and whirling them around like numb chucks advancing on all of Ling's men who were now not only pissed off but confused.

Their confusion tripled as wet, red, lobster flesh smacked them up-side the heads and Lucas made it to the produce section unharmed since speeding lobsters to the face do hurt, unlike eggs, and the men were forced to protect themselves rather than attack.

Alas for the poor lobsters, they too smarted for the exercise.

Yet their pain was short lived as their captor abandoned them for a crate of onions, and happily away they crawled thinking 'freedom is ours, to the sea, to the sea' down the isle past many a flabbergasted shopper.

For his part, Lucas didn't spare the crustaceans a thought as he scooped up handful after handful of onions pelting the barely recovered thugs who cried out in pain as onion juice dribbled into their stinging eyes giving him the extra minute to guzzle down a couple bottles of Jack Daniels which Sami and the widower had finally returned with.

Thus with a sonic burp, the situation suddenly turned beautiful, outrageously so, as pain was numbed and his surrounding reduced to a blurring buzzing drone. Lucas felt outside himself as he wavered, but did not fall, casting aside the bottles, curling his wrists into classic drunken master form, and waiting for his opponents to press on.

Tiddy was the first rushing like a bull, roaring like a matador--at least from our hero's point of view who giggled and placed two fingers on top of his head wiggling them like horns and charging, flooring his assailant with a cracking head butt.

"The Toreador meets his match!" He bellowed giggling some more and holding his aching skull while Sami cringed looking on in horror only to cover her eyes aghast.

Then it was Gangus and Kahn who stepped into the fray, trying to take Lucas out in a series of synchronized kicks and punches to which the master simply side-stepped until he got a hold of Kahn and flipped him into Gangus, both cannon balling into the banana display.

"Banana Split!" Lucas chuckled in glee until Knife delivered him a severe blow to the back sending him sprawling with a flurry of kicks to dodge.

More than the actual hits, it was giving him a headache to watch the man's legs move so fast.

So much anger, Lucas thought in his woozy haze on the floor feeling slightly sorry for the hostile hooligan who must never had been hugged as a child. Intent on correcting this parental oversight, he bounded to his feet and ignored all the blows he was suffering to effectively enclose Knife in a crunching hug.

He squeezed and squeezed and squeezed all the while murmuring to Knife that his parents never really loved him either and that 'I'm Ok, you're Ok, it's O….K'.

And when he finally let go of Knife, who slid to the floor unconscious, it was with a big smile on his face.

He turned to Sami grinning wildly, "I call that the Bear Hug! I call this one Sex on the Beach," he informed her with intent, lowering his voice to a sexy growl, eyeing the bottle of vodka in her hand happily.

And thus the best and unlikeliest of all positions was achieved after Lucas caught a fleeing Sami up in his arms kissing her mightily amongst the Pineapple Juice while Henry (the former Navy Seal) and Flunkie shared a pint of Captain Morgan's along with tales of long lost loves and Will and the kind Pick N' Save cashier chased after the free roaming lobsters who were presently holed up amongst the Rice Crispy bars.